Why relationships break down

Every relationship is built around honesty and trust. If someone in that relationship is concerned that has been breached by another, they will try to find if there is evidence to support that. Often the evidence is selectively chosen, it is incomplete and people “go off half cocked”, they may not have the full facts, rush to conclusion and start making allegations against another. Even if there may be a proper basis for that claim, until you have evidence to support the substance of your claim be careful. If you don’t have the information the legal process of preliminary discovery can assist, it can help you gain access to that information.

In the context of mediation, there is a saying that perception is everything. That may be the case in mediation, but it doesn’t mean that perception is right.

Quite often, whether in my role as mediator or arbitrator, it surprises me how quick people are to point the finger of blame.  But truth is, there is often misunderstanding. This is where I have great success in mediation, as I use my legal and forensic accounting skills to get to the substance of the issues in dispute, be they factual, legal or technical.

Misunderstandings often put parties into fixed positions, and with proper guidance can be resolved. Leaving everyone saying – if only we weren’t so quick to blame.

Tags: Evaluative Model, Facilitative Model, Mediation, Mediator